About
My name is Scott Carpenter. I was only 12 years old when I first came to faith - repenting, believing in Jesus, and confessing Him as my LORD. Looking back, now, I see that "my believing" was not like what most people experience in America when they come to faith. Don't get me wrong... I was "saved" the way everyone else must be saved, but the level of persecution, afterward, was beyond what would be considered "normal" for a boy growing up in America in the 1970s. As a young Christian, I was so excited about my new faith! Salvation through Jesus and the power of God's Word was very real to me. If God said it in the Bible, I must take it at face value, for it was TRUTH! I soon learned that my peers, as well as some of the adults in my life - many of whom had attended church from childhood - were not interested in "walking with Jesus" so closely that He permeated every area of their personal life. The problem was, (if you could call it a problem)... I wanted EVERYONE to love Jesus and to know what His Word said... because their eternal salvation depended on it! Why was I so passionate and they were so... meh... about the whole thing? It was hard for me to understand back then, but it was, undoubtedly, the hand of God and the power of His Spirit upon me, preparing me to DO HIS WILL and to DO HIS WORK! I was being tested early on to "prove" me and to teach me to "endure unto the end" no matter how many friends rejected me, nor how strong the opposition against the message I shared.
I am not going to exaggerate or inflate my experiences as a young believer trying to share and live my faith... but, looking back... it seems as though God was allowing me, as a boy and a young believer, to KNOW - on a personal level - what it would be like to SUFFER FOR CHRIST... like the disciples in the book of Acts. From age 12 to the age of 15, I took many opportunities to share the gospel with my peers. When I was one on one with them, they would, for the most part, listen to what I had to share. Together as a mob, however, I was stoned twice, beat up twice, and mocked horribly on many occasions by my neighborhood "friends," as well as from members of my own youth group at church. Could I have been just... this "annoying religious kid?" Passionately annoying... perhaps. But, I want you to understand that on a number of occasions, when any one of my peers were having personal struggles, I was the one they they sought out and felt comfortable confiding in. Maybe this is why, on one particular day - while I was on my daily paper route - I was confronted by about 15 of the neighborhood teens. Several of them asked me "Why I was the way I was?" And... "Why do you think what you believe is so important?" And, so, for the next half an hour - as they sat on a grassy hillside - I, once again, shared salvation through Jesus Christ and what that means for daily life and for their eternal existence. I could see, on some of their faces, they were seriously considering the importance of God's message. None of them repented and confessed Jesus as LORD that day, but I did have the privilege of seeing two of them come to faith, later.
One day, while attending public school in the seventh grade, I was in the library for "free time" memorizing Bible verses from my Word Of Life Bible memory cards... one of my teachers - who regularly attended the Presbyterian church down the road - asked me what I was doing. When I told her, she looked displeased, and told me to "get a book to read." Always wanting to please authority, I walked over to the bookshelves and found a BIBLE. I went back to my seat and began memorizing THE BOOK. The teacher returned some moments later. When she noticed what I was reading, a scowl crossed her face, and she growled..."Scott Carpenter... you get you a 'real book' to read." This experience impacted me greatly! I committed myself, more passionately, to know and to share this "VERY REAL BOOK" without fear and without shame. I wanted to do "God's work." And, His work had to do with "His Word!"
And, I am soberly aware that His "work" for me, right now, is writing, preaching, and teaching the "the unpleasant things" from His Word - The Bible - that are hard for most American Christians to listen to and even harder to embrace. For twenty-four years I traveled in a van with my dear wife and my precious children across the United States... preaching, singing, and performing Bible-based plays and musicals that I would write. Afterward, I would share brief, but very hard and personally pressing messages with God's people. After some of these services, a number of pastors would say these, or similar, words to me... "That was a hard message." "You preach the hard things that we cannot say." Did these sincere men fear saying the hard things because they would lose their ministry in that church? Our churches are in a very, bad way!
It is apparent to me that Jesus' Church in America is "weak and feeble of faith." While we talk A LOT about the "Love and the Grace of God," we talk little to nothing about "dying to this world" and "suffering for Christ." We talk of suffering because we are physically ill, or things aren't going our way, or because people at work mistreat us, or because we can't find fulfillment in our work or in relationships, or because we are suffering for our own wrong doing, OR... because we are suffering for the prolonged, poor dietary choices we have made for years. Our personal affluence has spoiled us and we interpret the Scriptures accordingly. We are very "self-focused" and not very focused on Kingdom values. We know nothing of the pain and heartache that we will endure when we become the #1 Enemy of the State for the sake of Christ and His Word. For many... THAT will be more than what they "signed up" for in the beginning of their faith. When persecution comes, those Christians will give in to fear. They will become offended in Christ. This will lead many to turn from their faith and to fall away. This is the reason I wrote the booklet... "Obtaining the Pearl of Great Price" or "A Perilous Journey to a Glorious Kingdom." I pray that you will read it carefully... more than once... and choose to share it with everyone you know. (Both titles describe the two, main themes discussed in the booklet.)
God's Peace to you all,
Scott Carpenter
I am not going to exaggerate or inflate my experiences as a young believer trying to share and live my faith... but, looking back... it seems as though God was allowing me, as a boy and a young believer, to KNOW - on a personal level - what it would be like to SUFFER FOR CHRIST... like the disciples in the book of Acts. From age 12 to the age of 15, I took many opportunities to share the gospel with my peers. When I was one on one with them, they would, for the most part, listen to what I had to share. Together as a mob, however, I was stoned twice, beat up twice, and mocked horribly on many occasions by my neighborhood "friends," as well as from members of my own youth group at church. Could I have been just... this "annoying religious kid?" Passionately annoying... perhaps. But, I want you to understand that on a number of occasions, when any one of my peers were having personal struggles, I was the one they they sought out and felt comfortable confiding in. Maybe this is why, on one particular day - while I was on my daily paper route - I was confronted by about 15 of the neighborhood teens. Several of them asked me "Why I was the way I was?" And... "Why do you think what you believe is so important?" And, so, for the next half an hour - as they sat on a grassy hillside - I, once again, shared salvation through Jesus Christ and what that means for daily life and for their eternal existence. I could see, on some of their faces, they were seriously considering the importance of God's message. None of them repented and confessed Jesus as LORD that day, but I did have the privilege of seeing two of them come to faith, later.
One day, while attending public school in the seventh grade, I was in the library for "free time" memorizing Bible verses from my Word Of Life Bible memory cards... one of my teachers - who regularly attended the Presbyterian church down the road - asked me what I was doing. When I told her, she looked displeased, and told me to "get a book to read." Always wanting to please authority, I walked over to the bookshelves and found a BIBLE. I went back to my seat and began memorizing THE BOOK. The teacher returned some moments later. When she noticed what I was reading, a scowl crossed her face, and she growled..."Scott Carpenter... you get you a 'real book' to read." This experience impacted me greatly! I committed myself, more passionately, to know and to share this "VERY REAL BOOK" without fear and without shame. I wanted to do "God's work." And, His work had to do with "His Word!"
And, I am soberly aware that His "work" for me, right now, is writing, preaching, and teaching the "the unpleasant things" from His Word - The Bible - that are hard for most American Christians to listen to and even harder to embrace. For twenty-four years I traveled in a van with my dear wife and my precious children across the United States... preaching, singing, and performing Bible-based plays and musicals that I would write. Afterward, I would share brief, but very hard and personally pressing messages with God's people. After some of these services, a number of pastors would say these, or similar, words to me... "That was a hard message." "You preach the hard things that we cannot say." Did these sincere men fear saying the hard things because they would lose their ministry in that church? Our churches are in a very, bad way!
It is apparent to me that Jesus' Church in America is "weak and feeble of faith." While we talk A LOT about the "Love and the Grace of God," we talk little to nothing about "dying to this world" and "suffering for Christ." We talk of suffering because we are physically ill, or things aren't going our way, or because people at work mistreat us, or because we can't find fulfillment in our work or in relationships, or because we are suffering for our own wrong doing, OR... because we are suffering for the prolonged, poor dietary choices we have made for years. Our personal affluence has spoiled us and we interpret the Scriptures accordingly. We are very "self-focused" and not very focused on Kingdom values. We know nothing of the pain and heartache that we will endure when we become the #1 Enemy of the State for the sake of Christ and His Word. For many... THAT will be more than what they "signed up" for in the beginning of their faith. When persecution comes, those Christians will give in to fear. They will become offended in Christ. This will lead many to turn from their faith and to fall away. This is the reason I wrote the booklet... "Obtaining the Pearl of Great Price" or "A Perilous Journey to a Glorious Kingdom." I pray that you will read it carefully... more than once... and choose to share it with everyone you know. (Both titles describe the two, main themes discussed in the booklet.)
God's Peace to you all,
Scott Carpenter
Once upon a time… I was Santa Claus.
Okay… I played Santa Claus from the end of November of 2020, until the end of December. Even after the New Year, I was so captured by the shear emotion of playing Santa… the experience left me with such an emotional high and a sense of positive affirmation… I strongly considered the possibility of becoming a professional Santa and “being Santa” all year long! I wanted that experience and those feelings to go on… forever!
But what you need to understand is, that… I was in a very, dark place. I am trying, now, to sit here and “relive” that time in my life so that I am able to adequately express to you “Where” I was, and just “How” I came to be there… there, in that place of spiritual night where the light of God’s love in Christ was undetectable, and I even found myself in strong opposition to the idea of God’s love and even questioned His very existence. DO NOT doubt me on this. It is not up for debate. Why had I allowed myself to venture down that path? It doesn’t make sense to many Christians. I understand. It doesn’t really make sense to me, now… looking back. The way it happened was so subtle, and yet so quick and brutal, that I shake my head in disbelief… and, yet, it happened.
As I stated in the opening video found on the Home page… I had spent 5 years studying “The Perseverance Of The Saints” from the Bible and, after 40 years of teaching otherwise, I came to the conclusion that true believers in Christ, COULD choose to walk away from their faith and forfeit their eternal inheritance in the face of persecution, bitterness, false teaching, fear of men, or becoming “offended” in Christ. At the end of those five years I had a notebook FULL of my thoughts and discoveries! I am not a brilliant scholar, so, it is hard for me to pull everything together into a cohesive, doctrinal statement so that I could fully understand and comprehend MY OWN findings, much less have the ability to explain it to anyone else. So, I decided to write a book!
It took me a year - hours a day - to bring all the parts together in some kind of systematic way, and expound, logically, upon the truth that was revealed to me from God’s Holy Spirit. Don’t think that it was some kind of “dry, literary pursuit” on my part. I was very far from bored with the exercise. On the contrary, I was energized by the process! Every day I awakened with a renewed sense of purpose! It was during this time that I came to the conclusion that I would be willing TO DIE for this Biblical doctrine that had – and WAS – being made very clear to me!
The writing of “HOLD FAST” - and it’s printing - took place in the years 2018 and 2019. I only printed about 25 copies of the 140 page book. I gave them to friends and respected pastors. I even had it edited into an “ebook” and offered it on Amazon. Then… I waited. I waited for a response. I continued waiting a few months for someone to tell me what they thought of what I had written… good or bad.
I began questioning God quite strongly… “Dear Father… I have no doubt that You have revealed these things to me. But NONE of the men I have worked with through the years will agree with what I wrote. So… is it true? How can a Christian begin to doubt their faith in Christ? I KNOW that I CANNOT! I can’t see how I could ever get to the point where I would STOP believing in Jesus and walk away from my faith. It doesn’t even make sense to me! If what you have taught me is true… how, O God, does it even happen? WHEN DOES A CHRISTIAN MAKE THAT DECISION TO TURN AWAY FROM YOU AND, in so doing, FORFEIT THEIR FAITH?" (remember that question)
It was two or three weeks into praying that kind of prayer, and having that discussion with God, that a young pastor, just out of seminary, messaged me on Facebook and told me that it was, without a doubt, “the worst book I have ever read!”
I received that message at the beginning of 2020. You remember 2020… don’t you? It was the year of the Coronavirus lockdowns which began in the month of March. I remember it well, because my Dad died in April and we couldn’t have a funeral for him. But, that wasn’t all. There was another, very serious, family issue that unfolded that year and stretched in the following year that consumed my emotions. Let us just say that the nightmare scenario of having to sit before a LITERAL JUDGE AND JURY and give an account for your parenting failures… happened to me. That sounds TERRIBLE… I understand. It was terrible. But I did it for a good and just outcome. Just so you know, I have a very good relationship with 8 of my 10 children. I was always a “good” dad, but a very regrettable and heart wrenching situation – involving someone else’s evil - caused me to have to answer for some of my failures. I can say, now, I was a relatively “good” dad, but during those two years, I didn’t think much good about myself.
ALL OF THAT to say… an emotional roller coaster, coupled with feelings of hurt, bitterness, and envy, caused me to begin to question “The Love of God.” I knew that these questions that were entering my mind were NO GOOD! I begged God to take them from me… many times. My faith was being shaken and it just got worse week after week. It was, truly, as though I could not stop it. I was spiritually weak (sick) and I needed a James chapter 5 intervention, but I gave it no thought, at the time. I do not want to take the space and time to explain EVERYTHING that happened in those two, awful years. But I will admit that I contemplated suicide… a number of times. I had allowed my shield of faith to drop, Satan’s fiery darts secretly hit their target, and he began to devour me.
NOW… begins my time as Santa.
In the summer of 2020, I sought out a means of “therapy” apart from God and His Word. I wanted to do something “for myself.” I began singing on Yokee. It is the #1 iPhone karaoke app on which people can choose songs from a list and sing on video for others to see and hear. The same group ran the American Idol karaoke app. It felt good to receive immediate affirmation for a song well recorded! In the middle of November, I was one of the first singers to sing a Christmas song… “The Most Wonderful Time of The Year.” I sang this song at nighttime, outside, in front of the house of a man in our neighborhood who, elaborately, decks his house with bright, flashing, colorful lights every year. I chose to wear a Santa hat for this festive occasion. It was soon after I posted the song to the app, that I received a message from the Yokee Administrators. They had a proposal for me. They asked if I would consider being their “Sing Along With Santa!” As you can imagine… I was greatly shocked and honored by their request! They wanted me to dress up as Santa and sing several Christmas songs which would be given a special place on the platform. Then, all of their other thousands of users could select the “Duet” feature, and sing “Side by Side” with Santa!
I jumped into the project with great gusto! I made my recordings as professional as I could. It was just what they wanted! The Yokee staff were well-pleased with my work. It gave me great satisfaction and joy to see people, especially children, singing with me (Santa) and enjoying their experience. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to “put myself out there” to play Santa at photo shoots. One dear mother hired me to be in pictures with her daughters. Several times through the Christmas season, I would stand on busy street corners in different, neighboring, towns. I would wave and yell… “Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!” The people driving by would happily honk their horns and wave. Many would slow down and yell, “Merry Christmas!” and “Thank you, Santa!” I added “JOY” and injected “Christmas Spirit” into the hearts of thousands of my “neighbors.” Now you know WHY playing Santa was something that I considered doing on a full-time basis.
Oh, how powerful and how subtle the tricks of the devil are. He had me “on the ropes” and he was trying to replace service for Christ with something that was much more pleasing to my flesh and much more appreciated by “those living in darkness.” I could be LOVED and APPRECIATED and not have to deal with the idea of “suffering for Christ” and “being hated of all men.” It seemed to feel more satisfying - and it gave me more happiness in my flesh - to play Santa in front of the world… than, doing ministry with God’s people, suffering all the stress and animosity that would come against me time after time. In my time of darkness, it made sense… If Jesus tells me to “love my neighbor,” what better way to accomplish it than by playing Santa! Don’t you see? While I was encouraging THEM they, in turn, were very appreciative of my work and they encouraged me, as well! Isn’t that what “PEACE ON EARTH” and “unity” should look like?
My doubt of God’s existence only increased during this time. It was the middle of January when God had to “shock” me back to reality. He, graciously, gave me an opportunity to step back on to the path of faith. It was the FEAR OF GOD that made me call on Him and caused me to repent. That being said… I still kept my distance from Him for all of 2021. I may have read my Bible a handful of times and I rarely prayed. Such are the consequences of, foolishly, allowing my heart to be taken away by anger, bitterness, and envy and allowing my heart to be consumed by... SELF. It is nothing to be taken lightly. Because I BELIEVED God was NOT proving Himself to be my friend, much less a LOVING FATHER… it wasn’t until 2022 that I was able to hear the well-used phrase… “God is good all the time.” Until then, it made me angry to hear it! If anyone had told me that I would be in THAT place at any time in my life, I would have told them that it could NEVER happen! I made my choice and I began walking away from God in the bitterness of my heart. God was faithful to lovingly chastise me and call me back... but, do not doubt, my brother... do not question, my sister... I contemplated walking away for good! I could have made that choice. I felt, strongly, justified in leaving God and pursuing a "fulfilling" life apart from Him.
I will never forget the moment... I had just finished telling Joanne... "How could I ever go back to serving a God who does THAT to the children He says He loves?" Then, I walked into the church we were cleaning, walked to the front of the auditorium, glanced up at the cross over the baptistry, and I distinctly remember the question I asked God months before, being brought back to my memory... "WHEN DOES A CHRISTIAN MAKE THAT DECISION TO TURN AWAY FROM YOU AND, in so doing, FORFEIT THEIR FAITH?" And I remember God's strong response at that moment...
"RIGHT NOW! THIS IS THAT MOMENT, for you. You make the choice to repent and confess me... or deny me. You do not want to die in your ongoing rebellion."
In that moment... the thought of being forever CUT OFF, brought fear to my heart. I could not deny my rebellion. I bowed at the front pew and confessed. There was no overwhelming emotion, just an elemental decision to stop fighting against God and pushing Him away. As I said earlier... it was another year before true, spiritual healing began to take place.
2022 was a great healing year for me! God brought me up out of my doubt and my darkness. He set me free from the bondage that I had chosen to turn back to. He SAVED me… in every sense of the word! I worship GOD the GREAT KING of heaven and earth and give glory to the One who is so, amazingly, LONG SUFFERING to His children whom He loves.
“The LORD is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness; but is LONG SUFFERING to us (believers), not willing that any (of us, brethren) should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”
(2 Peter 3:9)
I wrote “A Perilous Journey to a Glorious Kingdom” and “Obtaining The Pearl Of Great Price” because I came out of my serious “Crisis of Faith” with an even stronger understanding that the “Perseverance Of The Saints” is not just dependent upon God, Himself… but, rather… It is the responsibility of EVERY FOLLOWER OF CHRIST to hold fast their profession in Christ and to keep the faith… no matter the temptation… no matter the persecution… and, no matter the fiery darts. We must not love our lives more than we love serving, and SUFFERING FOR, Jesus Christ. I must warn and correct all who will listen, lest my brothers and sisters in Christ “fall away” and make a “shipwreck of their faith” and be “severed from Christ.”
Won’t you join me, Christian? Watch and pray, and be a “Kingdom Slave” for Jesus… EVEN UNTO DEATH!
"But Christ is the Son over His own house, whose house we are, IF we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope FIRM UNTO THE END."
Hebrews 3:6
Okay… I played Santa Claus from the end of November of 2020, until the end of December. Even after the New Year, I was so captured by the shear emotion of playing Santa… the experience left me with such an emotional high and a sense of positive affirmation… I strongly considered the possibility of becoming a professional Santa and “being Santa” all year long! I wanted that experience and those feelings to go on… forever!
But what you need to understand is, that… I was in a very, dark place. I am trying, now, to sit here and “relive” that time in my life so that I am able to adequately express to you “Where” I was, and just “How” I came to be there… there, in that place of spiritual night where the light of God’s love in Christ was undetectable, and I even found myself in strong opposition to the idea of God’s love and even questioned His very existence. DO NOT doubt me on this. It is not up for debate. Why had I allowed myself to venture down that path? It doesn’t make sense to many Christians. I understand. It doesn’t really make sense to me, now… looking back. The way it happened was so subtle, and yet so quick and brutal, that I shake my head in disbelief… and, yet, it happened.
As I stated in the opening video found on the Home page… I had spent 5 years studying “The Perseverance Of The Saints” from the Bible and, after 40 years of teaching otherwise, I came to the conclusion that true believers in Christ, COULD choose to walk away from their faith and forfeit their eternal inheritance in the face of persecution, bitterness, false teaching, fear of men, or becoming “offended” in Christ. At the end of those five years I had a notebook FULL of my thoughts and discoveries! I am not a brilliant scholar, so, it is hard for me to pull everything together into a cohesive, doctrinal statement so that I could fully understand and comprehend MY OWN findings, much less have the ability to explain it to anyone else. So, I decided to write a book!
It took me a year - hours a day - to bring all the parts together in some kind of systematic way, and expound, logically, upon the truth that was revealed to me from God’s Holy Spirit. Don’t think that it was some kind of “dry, literary pursuit” on my part. I was very far from bored with the exercise. On the contrary, I was energized by the process! Every day I awakened with a renewed sense of purpose! It was during this time that I came to the conclusion that I would be willing TO DIE for this Biblical doctrine that had – and WAS – being made very clear to me!
The writing of “HOLD FAST” - and it’s printing - took place in the years 2018 and 2019. I only printed about 25 copies of the 140 page book. I gave them to friends and respected pastors. I even had it edited into an “ebook” and offered it on Amazon. Then… I waited. I waited for a response. I continued waiting a few months for someone to tell me what they thought of what I had written… good or bad.
I began questioning God quite strongly… “Dear Father… I have no doubt that You have revealed these things to me. But NONE of the men I have worked with through the years will agree with what I wrote. So… is it true? How can a Christian begin to doubt their faith in Christ? I KNOW that I CANNOT! I can’t see how I could ever get to the point where I would STOP believing in Jesus and walk away from my faith. It doesn’t even make sense to me! If what you have taught me is true… how, O God, does it even happen? WHEN DOES A CHRISTIAN MAKE THAT DECISION TO TURN AWAY FROM YOU AND, in so doing, FORFEIT THEIR FAITH?" (remember that question)
It was two or three weeks into praying that kind of prayer, and having that discussion with God, that a young pastor, just out of seminary, messaged me on Facebook and told me that it was, without a doubt, “the worst book I have ever read!”
I received that message at the beginning of 2020. You remember 2020… don’t you? It was the year of the Coronavirus lockdowns which began in the month of March. I remember it well, because my Dad died in April and we couldn’t have a funeral for him. But, that wasn’t all. There was another, very serious, family issue that unfolded that year and stretched in the following year that consumed my emotions. Let us just say that the nightmare scenario of having to sit before a LITERAL JUDGE AND JURY and give an account for your parenting failures… happened to me. That sounds TERRIBLE… I understand. It was terrible. But I did it for a good and just outcome. Just so you know, I have a very good relationship with 8 of my 10 children. I was always a “good” dad, but a very regrettable and heart wrenching situation – involving someone else’s evil - caused me to have to answer for some of my failures. I can say, now, I was a relatively “good” dad, but during those two years, I didn’t think much good about myself.
ALL OF THAT to say… an emotional roller coaster, coupled with feelings of hurt, bitterness, and envy, caused me to begin to question “The Love of God.” I knew that these questions that were entering my mind were NO GOOD! I begged God to take them from me… many times. My faith was being shaken and it just got worse week after week. It was, truly, as though I could not stop it. I was spiritually weak (sick) and I needed a James chapter 5 intervention, but I gave it no thought, at the time. I do not want to take the space and time to explain EVERYTHING that happened in those two, awful years. But I will admit that I contemplated suicide… a number of times. I had allowed my shield of faith to drop, Satan’s fiery darts secretly hit their target, and he began to devour me.
NOW… begins my time as Santa.
In the summer of 2020, I sought out a means of “therapy” apart from God and His Word. I wanted to do something “for myself.” I began singing on Yokee. It is the #1 iPhone karaoke app on which people can choose songs from a list and sing on video for others to see and hear. The same group ran the American Idol karaoke app. It felt good to receive immediate affirmation for a song well recorded! In the middle of November, I was one of the first singers to sing a Christmas song… “The Most Wonderful Time of The Year.” I sang this song at nighttime, outside, in front of the house of a man in our neighborhood who, elaborately, decks his house with bright, flashing, colorful lights every year. I chose to wear a Santa hat for this festive occasion. It was soon after I posted the song to the app, that I received a message from the Yokee Administrators. They had a proposal for me. They asked if I would consider being their “Sing Along With Santa!” As you can imagine… I was greatly shocked and honored by their request! They wanted me to dress up as Santa and sing several Christmas songs which would be given a special place on the platform. Then, all of their other thousands of users could select the “Duet” feature, and sing “Side by Side” with Santa!
I jumped into the project with great gusto! I made my recordings as professional as I could. It was just what they wanted! The Yokee staff were well-pleased with my work. It gave me great satisfaction and joy to see people, especially children, singing with me (Santa) and enjoying their experience. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to “put myself out there” to play Santa at photo shoots. One dear mother hired me to be in pictures with her daughters. Several times through the Christmas season, I would stand on busy street corners in different, neighboring, towns. I would wave and yell… “Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!” The people driving by would happily honk their horns and wave. Many would slow down and yell, “Merry Christmas!” and “Thank you, Santa!” I added “JOY” and injected “Christmas Spirit” into the hearts of thousands of my “neighbors.” Now you know WHY playing Santa was something that I considered doing on a full-time basis.
Oh, how powerful and how subtle the tricks of the devil are. He had me “on the ropes” and he was trying to replace service for Christ with something that was much more pleasing to my flesh and much more appreciated by “those living in darkness.” I could be LOVED and APPRECIATED and not have to deal with the idea of “suffering for Christ” and “being hated of all men.” It seemed to feel more satisfying - and it gave me more happiness in my flesh - to play Santa in front of the world… than, doing ministry with God’s people, suffering all the stress and animosity that would come against me time after time. In my time of darkness, it made sense… If Jesus tells me to “love my neighbor,” what better way to accomplish it than by playing Santa! Don’t you see? While I was encouraging THEM they, in turn, were very appreciative of my work and they encouraged me, as well! Isn’t that what “PEACE ON EARTH” and “unity” should look like?
My doubt of God’s existence only increased during this time. It was the middle of January when God had to “shock” me back to reality. He, graciously, gave me an opportunity to step back on to the path of faith. It was the FEAR OF GOD that made me call on Him and caused me to repent. That being said… I still kept my distance from Him for all of 2021. I may have read my Bible a handful of times and I rarely prayed. Such are the consequences of, foolishly, allowing my heart to be taken away by anger, bitterness, and envy and allowing my heart to be consumed by... SELF. It is nothing to be taken lightly. Because I BELIEVED God was NOT proving Himself to be my friend, much less a LOVING FATHER… it wasn’t until 2022 that I was able to hear the well-used phrase… “God is good all the time.” Until then, it made me angry to hear it! If anyone had told me that I would be in THAT place at any time in my life, I would have told them that it could NEVER happen! I made my choice and I began walking away from God in the bitterness of my heart. God was faithful to lovingly chastise me and call me back... but, do not doubt, my brother... do not question, my sister... I contemplated walking away for good! I could have made that choice. I felt, strongly, justified in leaving God and pursuing a "fulfilling" life apart from Him.
I will never forget the moment... I had just finished telling Joanne... "How could I ever go back to serving a God who does THAT to the children He says He loves?" Then, I walked into the church we were cleaning, walked to the front of the auditorium, glanced up at the cross over the baptistry, and I distinctly remember the question I asked God months before, being brought back to my memory... "WHEN DOES A CHRISTIAN MAKE THAT DECISION TO TURN AWAY FROM YOU AND, in so doing, FORFEIT THEIR FAITH?" And I remember God's strong response at that moment...
"RIGHT NOW! THIS IS THAT MOMENT, for you. You make the choice to repent and confess me... or deny me. You do not want to die in your ongoing rebellion."
In that moment... the thought of being forever CUT OFF, brought fear to my heart. I could not deny my rebellion. I bowed at the front pew and confessed. There was no overwhelming emotion, just an elemental decision to stop fighting against God and pushing Him away. As I said earlier... it was another year before true, spiritual healing began to take place.
2022 was a great healing year for me! God brought me up out of my doubt and my darkness. He set me free from the bondage that I had chosen to turn back to. He SAVED me… in every sense of the word! I worship GOD the GREAT KING of heaven and earth and give glory to the One who is so, amazingly, LONG SUFFERING to His children whom He loves.
“The LORD is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness; but is LONG SUFFERING to us (believers), not willing that any (of us, brethren) should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”
(2 Peter 3:9)
I wrote “A Perilous Journey to a Glorious Kingdom” and “Obtaining The Pearl Of Great Price” because I came out of my serious “Crisis of Faith” with an even stronger understanding that the “Perseverance Of The Saints” is not just dependent upon God, Himself… but, rather… It is the responsibility of EVERY FOLLOWER OF CHRIST to hold fast their profession in Christ and to keep the faith… no matter the temptation… no matter the persecution… and, no matter the fiery darts. We must not love our lives more than we love serving, and SUFFERING FOR, Jesus Christ. I must warn and correct all who will listen, lest my brothers and sisters in Christ “fall away” and make a “shipwreck of their faith” and be “severed from Christ.”
Won’t you join me, Christian? Watch and pray, and be a “Kingdom Slave” for Jesus… EVEN UNTO DEATH!
"But Christ is the Son over His own house, whose house we are, IF we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope FIRM UNTO THE END."
Hebrews 3:6
"And they overcame him (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb, AND by the word of their testimony; AND...
THEY LOVED NOT THEIR LIVES UNTO THE DEATH!"
Revelation 12:11
THEY LOVED NOT THEIR LIVES UNTO THE DEATH!"
Revelation 12:11